WEDNESDAY MORNING, EARLY

There’s a new Perkins in town
just down the highway
from Martins Diner.
I’ve heard it’s pretty nice,
everything sparkly clean,
lots of fancy pancakes,
a sweet-looking girl
who meets you
at the door and takes
you to your table.

Got some competition now
I say to Thelma,
see if I can get her going.
She doesn’t take the bait,
just thunks my coffee
down in front of me
and stalks away. I wait
for her to bring
the half and half.
It doesn’t come.
Thing is, I say real loud
(and say it with a laugh),
from what I hear
the service over there
is great, topnotch.
That’s all it takes. I watch
her body freeze,
then turn my way.
For all I care,
she says, you can take
your hairy butt down there.
That would really make my day.

She doesn’t mean it
and knows I know.

I get up to go.
I think this time
I’ll leave a 2 dollar tip.